UselessFinds
A Dachshund With Toothbrushes Growing Out Of Its Back

the longest dog got the job

Novelty Homeware

A Dachshund With Toothbrushes Growing Out Of Its Back

A 21cm ceramic dachshund with a row of holes along its spine. Toothbrushes go in; the dog wears them like a mohawk.

Buy this nonsense$25.19$12.09(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)
  • toothbrush holder
  • dachshund
  • ceramic
  • bathroom decor
  • dog lover
  • gift

What Is This Thing?

A cream ceramic dachshund, 21cm long and 11cm tall, with a pink ribbon around its neck and a row of holes running down its back. Toothbrushes go into the holes. The dog then stands by the sink with them bristling out of its spine.

The listing's own copy describes it as "Ins wind cartoon" and, on another image, sums up its value as: "Multiple use of one object, diverse storage does not occupy an area."

Why You Don't Need It

Every bathroom already has a cup. A cup holds toothbrushes, costs nothing and does not need to be cleaned along the length of a dog.

It also has a fixed number of slots. A household that grows by one person needs a new dog.

Why You'll Buy It Anyway

Because whoever designed it understood the brief better than they had to. A toothbrush holder needs a row of holes, and there is exactly one breed of dog built like a row. Any other animal would have looked wrong. The dachshund looks, if anything, pleased to be useful.

There is also the matter of the listing, which treats this with complete seriousness — floor space, storage efficiency, multiple uses of one object. Nowhere does it acknowledge that the object is a dog with a mohawk made of oral hygiene.

A Dachshund With Toothbrushes Growing Out Of Its Back — photograph 2
A Dachshund With Toothbrushes Growing Out Of Its Back — photograph 3

Who It's Actually For

Dachshund owners, obviously, and dachshund owners are a large and well-organised gift market. Children's bathrooms, where it makes brushing teeth into something a four-year-old will walk towards voluntarily.

Also anyone who shares a bathroom and would like each person's toothbrush to have a clearly assigned vertebra.

before you click buy

Clean it more often than you think you need to. Narrow ceramic holes collect water at the bottom, and water sitting in the dark next to a sink is how mould starts. A bottle brush fits.

Twenty-one centimetres is longer than most sink edges are deep. Measure before buying, or the dog will spend its life with its back legs over the drop.

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