
three metres, or five if you are ambitious
Absurd Costumes
A Five-Metre Glowing Dragon You Wave Around
A lit dragon on handling poles, three or five metres long, in green, red or yellow. Requires arms and space.
Buy this nonsense$62.14$35.42(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)- dragon dance
- led prop
- festival
- performance prop
- glowing
- chinese new year
What Is This Thing?
A dragon dance prop: a long segmented body on handling poles, threaded with LEDs so the whole length glows. It comes in three-metre and five-metre versions, in green, red or yellow, with a moulded head at the front carrying most of the lighting.
The listing photographs are all taken at night, which is not a cheat — in daylight this is netting on sticks, and after dark it is a serpent moving across a park.
Why You Don't Need It
It is five metres long. It requires at least one other person to operate properly, a large open dark space, and somewhere to store an object the size of a canoe when you are not using it.
You will use it approximately once a year, if that.
Why You'll Buy It Anyway
Very few objects change a space this much for this little money. A glowing five-metre dragon moving through a dark garden is a genuinely large-scale effect, and the closest alternatives — projection, pyrotechnics, hired performers — are an order of magnitude more expensive and considerably more paperwork.
It also happens to be one of the rare party objects where the operating of it is the fun. Someone has to run with it.


Who It's Actually For
Lunar New Year, obviously, which is what it is built for. Beyond that: outdoor festivals, school and community events, large Halloween parties with a garden, and anyone organising something for a crowd of children who need to be led somewhere.
Take the five-metre version if there are two of you and the three-metre if there is one.
before you click buy
The listing states plainly that batteries are not included, and a prop this long will want several sets. Sort that out before the event rather than on the evening.
Check what the frame is made of and how it packs down. The difference between a prop you use annually and a prop you use once is whether it goes back in a bag afterwards.
more things nobody needs

you become a diagram of yourself
Absurd Costumes
A Full-Body Suit Wired With Pixel LEDs
A jacket and trousers traced with programmable colour LEDs along every limb. Visible from a very long way away.
Buy this nonsense$120.00$55.20(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)
the spine is the whole joke
Absurd Costumes
A Plush Dinosaur Skull With A Spine That Follows You
A soft skull worn as a hood, with a long plush ribcage and spine that trails down the wearer's back. Not just a hat.
Buy this nonsense$12.99(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)
two volumes, both wrong
Absurd Costumes
A Dinosaur Head That Roars When You Open Your Mouth
A T-Rex head mask with lit eyes, a jaw that moves with yours, and two sound modes — a low rumble and a full roar.
Buy this nonsense$32.19$23.18(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)
the horns arrive before you do
Absurd Costumes
A Black Goat Head With Horns That Reach Past Your Shoulders
A full-head latex goat mask in shaggy black fur with long curved horns and yellow eyes. Unsettling rather than funny.
Buy this nonsense$44.42$21.32(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)
sold in two sizes for a reason
Absurd Costumes
Two Inflatable Pandas, One Adult And One Child
An inflatable panda suit made in adult and child sizes, so a parent and a child can be the same absurd animal.
Buy this nonsense$40.58$19.48(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)
open mouth, open toe
Absurd Costumes
Sandals That Are Just Two Fish
Open-toed sandals moulded and painted as bass, down to the gills and the gaping mouth. PVC and EVA, sizes 32 to 47.
Buy this nonsense$26.26$13.13(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)