UselessFinds
A Charging Cable With A Dog On It, Doing That

the spec sheet says no gimmicks

Useless Gadgets

A Charging Cable With A Dog On It, Doing That

A charging cable with a small plastic dog mounted on the connector. The listing advertises its reinforced port and copper core in complete seriousness.

Buy this nonsense$13.98$6.29(sponsored link, opens in a new tab)
  • charging cable
  • humping dog
  • office prank
  • gag gift
  • desk
  • secret santa

What Is This Thing?

A one-metre charging cable with a small plastic dog moulded around the connector end. The dog is positioned at the plug, front paws up, in the posture the listing describes without embarrassment as humping.

Plug it into a phone and the dog is now doing that to your phone. Plug it into a laptop and it is doing it to your laptop. The listing photographs demonstrate it at a desk, in a kitchen, in an office and mounted in a car, which is four more contexts than anyone asked to see.

It comes in a black-and-white dalmatian and a translucent orange, and in the usual connector types.

Why You Don't Need It

You own a charging cable. This one costs more, is shorter than the one in your drawer, and has a dog on it that you will have to explain.

It is also permanent. There is no discreet mode — once it is plugged in at your desk, that is what your desk looks like, to you and to everyone who walks past it, all day.

Why You'll Buy It Anyway

The specification sheet is the funniest part of this product and it is not trying to be.

One image is headed Reinforced USB port. Another explains that the bold copper core gives fifty percent faster charging, and adds, in a serious font, "no gimmicks". A third promises charge and data transfer in one. Somebody sat down and wrote earnest marketing copy about conductor thickness for a cable with a humping dog on it, and did not blink.

That gap — between how seriously the engineering is presented and what the object actually is — is the entire product. A cable that was only rude would be a cheap joke. A cable that is rude and insists on its copper quality is much better.

A Charging Cable With A Dog On It, Doing That — photograph 2
A Charging Cable With A Dog On It, Doing That — photograph 3

Who It's Actually For

Office desks, where the audience is captive and repeat. It works best somewhere the cable is visible rather than under a monitor, because the joke is entirely in being seen.

Secret Santa and white elephant exchanges, obviously. It is cheap, it is small, and it gets an immediate reaction, which is the whole specification for that kind of gift.

It is a genuinely bad idea for a shared family charging spot, a classroom, or a desk anyone brings clients to.

before you click buy

Check the connector. This is sold as USB-C, Micro USB and Lightning under the same listing, and the thumbnail will not tell you which one is in your basket.

At one metre it is short for a desk cable and fine for a bedside. And it is plastic at six dollars, so treat the charging claims the way you would treat any cable at this price — the dog is the reason to buy it, not the copper.

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